…..OK, let’s call it Conflict! How in the world can one experience so many ups and downs in one day? I mean, really….one minute I’m grinning from ear to ear about something and the next I’m sitting and staring into space wondering what has happened to me! Is this normal? Don’t even suggest that it’s my new normal because that just doesn’t compute. In fact, I’m beginning to dislike the phrase “new normal!” It implies that something was “abnormal” about my old normal and that I need to change that.
Isn’t normal a relative term anyway? Some of the things I get myself into are generally accepted as normal behavior for WB, however if the same behavior is seen in someone else, let’s say, Queen Elizabeth II, people would talk and it wouldn’t be about how adorably normal she behaved! Example – several years ago I thought it was perfectly normal to go skinny dipping in a river in John Bryan State Park, OH, early in the morning when there was a heavy fog in the air. My mom and Dad had told me stories about their skinny dipping adventures so why wouldn’t I think that was a normal occurrence!? I could be wrong but perhaps QEII has not taken that plunge….it just wouldn’t be normal. Ok, so you understand my point about normal. What’s normal for me might not be normal for you (or QEII) and vice versa.
So if that’s true, why do I keep getting suggestions to find my new normal? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about it and even said the same thing as I tried to figure out what that might be. But how would I know it once I ‘had it?’ I have been pretty happy with my fun life. Yes, even with it’s ups and downs and struggles and joys and losses and moves and decisions (right and wrong ones) and illnesses, and pain, and laughter, and work, and play, on and on and on! I could make a column of as many of the joys I could think of and another of all the sadness I’ve lived through. That’s normal…..and that’s life! I don’t want a new one; normal or not! I think I want to love the one I have right now, just like I did before my Brownie went to Heaven.
Then why do I have a day like Sunday when I went from the valley to the mountain top and back again all throughout the day? I think I have an answer. Here’s my secret to figuring things out: I pray, I read scripture, I think out loud, I sit and stare, I let sadness cover me, I let joy fill me up and I write it out! I think that’s normal….MY NORMAL. It’s not new; it’s just what is normal for me on September 18, 2017. I wish everyday was filled with laughter, sunshine and daises (oh how I love daises) but that’s not life. At least not here on earth. Now Brownie is experiencing that in heaven, but for now, I must wait and live the life I have been given to the fullest! All of it! All the normal parts of it. So please don’t ask me if I’m working toward a new normal, because I’m not! I’m just making the life I have as normal as I can, filled with love and gratitude to a gracious God for each morning that He allows me to experience another day.
And this promise will get me through those days! “For I know the plans I that I have for you, ‘declares the Lord,’ plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Now get out there and BE NORMAL!